Playtime

So my husband and I were messing around last night, and he added a little luve, just make things more fun, and after he dives back in, I start burning. Like, literally, my vagoo is on fire. I thereby run to the bathroom and proceed to clean myself up, while my husband looks at the bottle: Purex Play w/ tingling sensation. There was no tingling, only pain. Ugh.

Work was slow today, so we all stood around talking about our sex lives. Not exactly HR appropriate, but we're all family here. I recalled on instance, before my husband and I tied the knot, where we got in my truck and headed to a clearing near some woods we always went to. So, we're right in the heat of things when I hear a helicopter.. then I see the helicopter.. then I see the person inside the helicopter from 15 feet away. My husband threw on his pants, through my clothes at me, and we bolted out of the clearing. We're speeding down the road and this helicopter is following us. Finally a cop shows up and pulls us into a church parking lot.. followed by 4 other cop cars. I'm freaking out, the cop comes up and pulls my husband out of the truck, I start freaking out more when they put him in handcuffs, and sit him on the ground. Then a cop comes to my side and pulls me out of the car, asks me to fix my pants, then cuffs me and sits me on the ground, too. The head cop leaves and the rest begin to interrogate us as to why were were fucking in public and what had been going on and why we ran. Apparently girls had been raped and cars had been stripped in that area, so they were making sure I wasn't in danger. That's fine, but I stillshowed them my engagement ring and said, "Does this look like he was raping me? We ran because I thought it was a news copter and didn't feel like being naked on television!" Their response was, "Oh.." So we're sitting there, 15 feet away from each other, being watched by two sets of two cops, when the head cop came back. He gets out of the car and says, "All right, you're not gonna get in trouble for bangin' in public, we've all done it, but I am ticketing you for 'driving on an unapproved surface'. Don't do it again." It was fucking hilarious after the fact, but I was terrified we were going to jail.

We didn't go back, we just found new places ;)