My Martini(s)

Some of my co-workers and I went to a martini/sushi bar last night, and it was phenomenal. God we had so much fun! The martinis, calamari, sushi, and a 30-minute-drive home later, I was attacking my husband. Granted, I was giggling when I first got home, which made him laugh at me, which in turn made me laugh even harder, but it was cool, he took care of me, in more ways than one. Needless to say, my orgasms are no long MIA, but my cunt feels like a POW. I don't know if it was because I was drunk or because we hadn't fucked in over a week, but we went at it hard. It wasn't a three-hour session, but God it was amazing.

This morning I'm not hung over, which I'm thankful for because I'm at work. My hubby made sure I got some toast and water before bed, then I had some juice and waffles this morning to bring my sugar levels back up to normal. I'm good for the most part, just a little tired, but I'm accessorizing with my orchid from my first martini last night sitting behind my ear. Super cute.

T&A Q&A

It amazes me sometimes how different men actually are. Growing up with my father, I assumed women were supposed to be tall, leggy, and have huge tits. After I started dating, only about 25% of the guys I associated with actually went for that. Granted, the ones I ignored were the ones that drooled over poster hotties, but that's beside the point.
I've never actually been happy with my body. Yes, I struggled with anorexia for about 6 years, and losing the amount of weight I did made me happy, but I'd always focus on one thing not being perfect: my boobs. I've always wanted a boob job, since I was in grade school. They just never grew, and what I do have looks horrible to me because of my bouts with my eating disorder. If I had $7k right now, I'd take three weeks of medical leave and get my tits done ASAP. But I don't have that kind of money, and if I did, it probably wouldn't get spent on my tits, but on bills. Life is cruel sometimes.
I've heard many men say that more than a hand- or mouthful is too much or wasted. Well, I'm not feeling myself up, nor am I a lesbian, so I don't know. I do know that my body isn't propotioned correctly because of my breasts (or the lack thereof). I'm not a tiny girl, but I'm not huge either. I'm 5'6 with a mediumly-framed torso. I have wide hipsand a little bit of a ghetto booty. Certain jeans make it look bigger than others.. but a 40" hip measurement is wide for a girl my height, and even if I lose the weight I want, they'd still be big. A 36A bra isn't cutting it by a longshot. Now, I know the difference between proportioned and huge. I'm not looking to get pornstar tits, just larger than I have now.. by like two cups sizes. That would work for me. My husband, however, doesn't agree with me getting implants. He never has, and I doubt he will, but he does want me to be happy with myself, so he says he'll support me. We'll see.

Now I want your opinion. As a guy (or a girl, doesn't really matter to me) how do you feel about boobs in regard to being proportioned and how it affects your sex life? Open discussion, and be honest. It's all chill here.

Sensored for My Benefit

Author's Side Note: AdSense doesn't publish ads on sites that contain adult content, so I made a.. sensored version of my life ;)

http://domesticdispute.blogspot.com/

Ads should start showing up there within the next three days, so if you wanna help support my writing, show me by clickie clickie-ing. You don't have to sign up with anyone for anything, just click the ads. Each click gives me a little bit, but the bits ad up.

Kisses

MIA

A couple of things I need to address:

-I realized only people with Blogger accounts could post comments. I've changed that so everyone can comment me know.

-My AdSense links aren't showing up on my blog like I thought they were. I saw it on there for myself two days ago, and now it's gone. I don't know what's going on with it.

-I went to my hair appointment yesterday and everything came out great except my roots. They're more caramel than blonde and it's pissing me off. My hair stylist had me come back last night to fix it, and all it did was lighten it like a quarter of a shade and burn the fuck out of my scalp.

As far as everything else goes.. well.. it's not. I haven't gotten laid in over a week. It was mostly my period, but that's been done, and my husband's job has him working 12.5 hours a day, 5a to 5:30p, which means he's super tired by the time he gets home to me. Great.

As soon as I has some sex to talk about, I'll fill everyone else in. Until then, my orgasms are MIA.

Until my husband isn't too tired to fuck me for 3 hours, as he was, I'll have to occupy myself with reading (not just about sex). Currently my book Wish List includes:

Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster

No Lifeguard On Duty by Janice Dickinson

Candy Girl by Diablo Cody

Girlbomb by Janice Erlbaum

Yeah, I'm a quirky memoir fanatic. Sue me. If anyone feels the need to spoil me by visting www.half.com and buying me a copy of any of those, I'd love you a lot ;)

Prosexualism

So I started this blog as a way to talk about some of the things no one wants to talk about with me in person. I was hoping people who read it would start leaving me comments about topics they'd like me to write about, and comments on things I'd written. Considering my page view count, ya'll are being either lazy or overly concerned someone will judge you on your comments. There will be NO judgement passed here. Unless you're a pedophile or some version thereof, then we've got a problem.

After messing around with some of the settings on my blog, I found a link that will allow me to actually make money writing, but it's dependent on my readers. Do ya'll see the link up above my blog posts but below the title and header? If you click that, it gives me money, which promotes more posts, seeing as I work full-time and have a home, husband, and a new kitten.

I few clicks goes a long way guys =)

Segue

I finally went and saw "Sex and the City" last night with my mom. It was amazing, and actually more graphic than I expected. Then again, "Sex and the City" started out on HBO and was pretty graphic, then it went through syndication and came to prime time, so they had to clean up their act a bit. I think I had a little more to drink last night than I should have, but, oh well. My mom and I split a 20oz strawberry margarita, which was awesome, then we went and had martinis and Piranha Killer Sushi. After developing a love for martinis, I couldn't believe I liked the margarita I had better.

My usual waiter was at Piranha, and he's an absolute sweetheart, but he flirts with me. A lot. Not in a disrespectful way, but enough to let me know he's interested. It's kinda hard to miss, with him sitting next to me in the booth and offering to test different martinis with me.. I eventually had to segue into the topic of my marriage last night. I couldn't not, but I was a bitch about it. He was visibly dejected, but he recovered well. No big. I also saw my other favorite waiter, who's become my backup, and he came over and talked to us. He seemed kind of disappointed that I was sitting in the other server's section. It makes me wonder if it happens a lot..

I wasn't drunk, but it was a small wonder I didn't KO on my way home. I sobered up a little when I stopped off in Wal-Mart for a couple things, and I did a couple things when I got home, but I felt it this morning.

And it'll happen again.

This morning I told my husband about letting my waiter know I was married. He smiled and made the comment, "Well I don't have to segue into anything because no one flirts with me anymore." Well, poor baby, but he also doesn't go anywhere for anyone to flirt with him. I'm the one that forever wants to go out for drinks and flirts with the waiters to avoid getting carded. My husband doesn't mind though. He actually enjoys the attention I get more than I do.. sometimes.

Barbie Complex

As I mentioned in my first post, I have a Barbie Complex. Next Thursday, I'll finally be fully blonde, and at some point I'd like to look into saving up for breast implants. It's funny how many guys aren't into big boobs nowadays. Good thing they're for me, right? My hubby swears he loves mine the way they are, and I can believe it with the amount of attention he gives them, but I want them bigger. Not porn star huge, but bigger.

Just a little blurb =)

Playtime

So my husband and I were messing around last night, and he added a little luve, just make things more fun, and after he dives back in, I start burning. Like, literally, my vagoo is on fire. I thereby run to the bathroom and proceed to clean myself up, while my husband looks at the bottle: Purex Play w/ tingling sensation. There was no tingling, only pain. Ugh.

Work was slow today, so we all stood around talking about our sex lives. Not exactly HR appropriate, but we're all family here. I recalled on instance, before my husband and I tied the knot, where we got in my truck and headed to a clearing near some woods we always went to. So, we're right in the heat of things when I hear a helicopter.. then I see the helicopter.. then I see the person inside the helicopter from 15 feet away. My husband threw on his pants, through my clothes at me, and we bolted out of the clearing. We're speeding down the road and this helicopter is following us. Finally a cop shows up and pulls us into a church parking lot.. followed by 4 other cop cars. I'm freaking out, the cop comes up and pulls my husband out of the truck, I start freaking out more when they put him in handcuffs, and sit him on the ground. Then a cop comes to my side and pulls me out of the car, asks me to fix my pants, then cuffs me and sits me on the ground, too. The head cop leaves and the rest begin to interrogate us as to why were were fucking in public and what had been going on and why we ran. Apparently girls had been raped and cars had been stripped in that area, so they were making sure I wasn't in danger. That's fine, but I stillshowed them my engagement ring and said, "Does this look like he was raping me? We ran because I thought it was a news copter and didn't feel like being naked on television!" Their response was, "Oh.." So we're sitting there, 15 feet away from each other, being watched by two sets of two cops, when the head cop came back. He gets out of the car and says, "All right, you're not gonna get in trouble for bangin' in public, we've all done it, but I am ticketing you for 'driving on an unapproved surface'. Don't do it again." It was fucking hilarious after the fact, but I was terrified we were going to jail.

We didn't go back, we just found new places ;)

Eye Candy

Just a little something =)

Mating Habits

Some people are afraid of change. Others dive into it head-first. Others just like to.. experiment a little. Nothing wrong with that, and if you like it and it doesn't hurt anyone, especially your partner, that's great. So here's a question: how do you avoid hurting the one you love when the two of you can't agree on the experimentation?

Guys don't seem to understand how women analyze things. Say you're a guy in a committed, monogamous relationship, you're madly in love and only want your partner.. but you want something that every guy has that's ever walked the earth has fantasized about from the moment he got his first boner: a threesome. What's funny is, I can see what all the fuss is about. I've thought about being with a girl - not permanently, by any means - and the idea is.. appealing, to say the least. However, women tend to be a little more possessive of their men. We're also seriously into that whole monogamy thing. Go figure.
In a guy's perfect world, the girls would fuck around then do stuff to the guy, the guy and his girl would fuck around and do stuff to the new broad, and then the guy and the new broad would fuck around and so stuff to the guy's girl.. all intermingled, of course. Nothing could be that properly coordinated and not be awkward. However, when faced with the idea of some broad touching what doesn't belong to her, most women don't respond well. But guys don't seem to get this.. so you have to flip it into terms they can understand: how would he feel if you wanted to fuck another man in front of him, whether it had anything to do with him and his sexuality or not?

I got a great response to that point of view. Seriously, he hasn't asked for it sense. Apparently my feelings meant more than a fantasy. Go figure.

My husband and I made a "home video" tonight, and after reviewing it, I realized something: while my husband loves me and tells me I'm beautiful and sexy and worships my body every time we make love.. I hate the way I look. I know I'm never going to look the way I wish I could because of my frame, but I don't have to have as many fat cells hanging around as I do. I just need some serious motivation.. maybe if my husband were more like my father, who has absolutely no qualms about telling an my mom we're overweight. And, just so everyone knows, "overweight" to my father means being anything that's not 5'10" 125lbs with huge tits. Yeah, so with me being only 5'6" and not having the money for plastic surgery, I already lose.

This should be interesting.

Growth

I really wanted a Victoria's Secret martini when I got off work, but the swanky sushi bar I'd have to go to if way expensive, and I'm a broke white girl until Friday, so I'll have to wait. My husband likes it when I've got a martini in my system - makes me horny. What ya gonna do, right?

Yesterday afternoon, my husband and I had a discussion about some things I've been thinking about for a while now, but was too scared to bring them up. I guess I was afraid he'd be angry or judge me or think I wasn't into him anymore.. God knows the last thing I need is my husband to think he made a mistake in marrying me. But he was extremely understanding and supportive of my thoughts, he didn't yell or judge me. We discussed comfort zones and our boundaries and the extent of our curiosity.. then had sex for three hours. It was amazing, to say the least. Speaking of sex, the term is usually defined as intercourse, right? Definitely not limited to that nowadays. Sex is more than him jackhammering away at my cunt - don't get me wrong, that's great, too - but foreplay is in there, too, and it doesn't have to be just before the actually fucking part, it can be all through it. If it's one thing I hate, it's feeling like our sex life is mundane or boring. I'd rather go without than have boring, in-a-damn-rut sex. Yesterday was far from boring.. we actually reached a new level we haven't even brought up before, and it honestly made a huge difference. Some subjects still seem so taboo that you're afraid to even bring them up because of the consequences that might follow, but sometimes you've just gotta take a leap, ya know? You'll never find out if it was worth thinking about unless you grow a pair and act on it.

Standards

Society has put so many rules and guidelines on our lives that's it's ended up leaking into our private lives, making us second-guess what we do when no one's around. Last time I checked, it was called a "private" life for a reason. What I do in my bedroom.. or my bathroom or my living room or even my car, for that matter, is up to me. I don't have to abide by the "standards" of "normality" the conventionalists are trying to maintain. I mean, sure, there are certain things that go so far beyond the "norm" that they shouldn't be done anywhere, but we're not talking legalities here. We're talking about what people are afraid to be curious about because the "norm" says it's wrong or dirty or bad. Bad? Really? Am I going to get a time-out for asking questions and having thoughts outside my normal day-to-day sex life? No.

I've learned that men and women alike are sexually curious, mostly about the things considered taboo. Girls wonder about kissing or having sex with other girls, and guys wonder about anal play. That doesn't make you a homosexual. And no matter how much someone denies it, it's there, in the back, or maybe even the front, of their minds, picking away at them, waiting to be fulfilled.

You know all those guys you grow up with that are super macho and play sports and wrestle and lift weights? Yeah, those are the ones that deny it the hardest but think about it the most. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard a guy freak out over even the thought of someone poking around back there, or even getting close, and start ranting about how that's gay and he's not gay so don't joke about it. It's not that serious. They swear they're comfortable with their own sexuality, but the freak out at the drop of a hat. But think about it: all men playing sports exhibit some sort of homo-erotic tendency. How many times have you seen them slap each other's asses on national television? How many guys on the wrestling team end up in the face-to-balls position before tapping out? Yet they don't want to talk about it in under normal circumstances. What a bunch of whiney closet cases.

Girls are a little more open to experimentation, and for some reason, society is completely okay with the idea of girl-on-girl experimentation, but not guy-on-guy. Why? There's no difference. Every girl wonders, at some point, if they're a lesbian. I've had those thoughts myself. But the common misconception is that girls who want to fuck around with other girls are lesbians. No. Homosexuality is the attraction between two same-sex partners that involves not being attracted to the opposite sex at all, whatsoever, and only wanting to have a physical and emotional relationship with someone of the same sex. Two girls making out while their boyfriends or husbands watch doesn't make them gay. A guy getting a little finger-anal play from his girlfriend or wife doesn't make him gay, either. Hell, it doesn't even make you bi or bi-curious.
Girls are naturally emotional and insightful beings, and making out or fucking around with each other is easier than teaching a guy new tricks, but that doesn't mean we're gonna permanently give up the cock. Well, most of us, anyway. And for guys, there are a ton of sensitive nerve endings in the anal region, and just because they like a little lubed-up finger-play doesn't mean they secretly desire some guy to shove his dick up their ass. But, of course, everyone's still really close-minded about a lot of things, and they're going to continue to be scared to experiment no matter what anyone says. It's okay to have a little fun sometimes.

Sexxxually Curious, or Curiously Sexxxy?

Small Warning: This blog is completely open and without modesty, thus the "Adult Content" label. It's probably not for the conventional or the ultra conservative, unless you're a closet sexaholic, like I was for so long. If that's the case, read on and enjoy what's probably one of many guilty pleasures you indulge when no one's around. If you take offense to anything you read here, well, that's your own fault; I warned you.

I've been obsessed with sex since I was little.. I mean little. Psychologically speaking, children are supposed to be curious about the body parts they have and they ones they don't. Small children, pre-pre-pre-pubescent children. Not the 4th-grade cousin who decides to shove his tongue down his 6-year-old cousin's throat and say it's okay, and that it's okay for him to put his hands under her shirt, and it's okay because tht's not sex.. but that's a story for another entry, one you'll get to read after you've gotten to know me a little better. I don't dilvulge all my secrets on the first post, just some. Or most.

I digress. My Barbies had sex when I was 9. I read Seventeen Magazine from 10+. After I found out what orgasms and masturbating were, I did that, too. At 12/13, I would stay up late and watch scrambled porn on TV with the volume muted and get off for hours. Yeah, my libido has been developed for a long time, and this honestly had nothing to do with the afore mentioned 4th-grade cousin, or the 18-year old that forced himself on me when I was 15. Again, stories for another day.

I was raised in a strong Christian home, and my mother and I have always had a great relationship. Anytime I had questions, she answered them the best she could without being vulgar or disgusting. She was just honest. Most of the time, however, I was too afraid of asking these questions, thinking it made me bad or gross or sick. She never judged me, though, and never gave me any Holier-Than-Thou bullshit. Sex was okay, but not until marriage, for lots of reasons. That I could totally understand, and it had a lot to do with my morals growing up. Unlike a lot of Christians I knew, my mom never told me sex was bad and that I shouldn't think about it or ask questions. She told me what the Bible said about it and that was it. No judgement, no gray areas, no condemnation, just, "Here's what the Lord says, and that's it," and that's cool with me. With that said, my mom was honest with me, but I was still pretty sheltered. Not in a disturbing cult kind of way, just in a unexposed-to-perversion kind of way, so I was a little slow on the uptake when people would use slang words for sex or body parts.

I'm sure a lot of people are thinking, "Omg, I blame her mom for her interest in sex because she was sheltered!" No. Definitely not it. I was thinking about sex long before my mom even knew I knew about it, so no, she's not to blame for anything. Honestly, my mom's gotta be one of the most kickass awesome people I know. She's always been honest with me, and joked with me and treated me like an equal. She is both BFF and Mom of the Century, and knows exactly when to turn one role off and turn the other on. She's great, and I love her.

I honestly couldn't tell you where my lavish interest in sex began. It's like not like my parents were nudists or hippies or anything. Quite the opposite. My mom worked full-time to support me and raised me with a firm understanding of our beliefs. She was awesome. Super Mom, even. Anyways, I know I have a higher level of testosterone in my system than most girls, so maybe that has to do with it. I don't mean ugly manly testoserone, I mean sex-drive testosterone. I'm not a dyke, far from it. I've got a bit of a Barbie Complex. I'm 5'6, bleach blonde, blue eyed and fair skinned, and my favorite color is pink. Enough said.

Sex is one of those things people are still scared to talk about in public. You know the people I'm talking about. They go to bookstores to read about sex, to try and learn because they're too scared to ask questions or try new things with their partners (if they have one), but when they get to the "Sex" aka "Self-Help" or "Addiction" sections (those classifications for sex always made me laugh) they act like they've stumbled upon it by accident, or they face the opposite set of shelves until the person with the balls to read about sex leaves the aisle. Then they gingerly edge over to the shelf and scan the titles, jumping at the nearest sound. Yeah. I used to be one of those people. Now, I'm the one sitting in the middle of the aisle, three books in front of me, reading aloud to my husband or the friend that happens to be with me at the time.

I'm not proclaiming sexual expertise here, but I do know a lot more than some. That doesn't mean I've experienced a lot, seeing as I did, in fact, wait to mess around (voluntarily - again, another post, but just to clarify) until my husband. He's my first, and he honestly brought me out of the shell I'd locked myself into. God, I love that man..