All For Something

No school yet; hubby says we need to have more in savings first. Gay.

He left for Galveston this morning for work, and he'll be back sometime Friday. Then he'll be in New Orleans all next week starting Sunday. Besides working a lot, the only thing I'll have to occupy myself will be work and sleep until he gets back. What sucks is that Sunday is my next day off and my husband will be gone.. I doubt they're flying, so they'll be leaving early for 9-hour drive. Stupid travel. It pays well, but I'm going to miss him a lot.. Hopefully he won't be too tired Friday for some nookie, because we didn't do anything last night or this morning due to fighting.. about sex.. I still don't understand quite how that works..

I'm at work, and I'm tired and bored and ate way too much at lunch with my mom. Then tonight when I get off I'm going to the in-laws for dinner and so my father-in-law can put freon in my AC; I've been without anything except rolled-down for almost a week now, and I'm dying. I passed out from heat exhaustion Sunday night. It was bad. My husband was scared and freaking out, apparently. I vaquely remember being carried, set down, then being disrobed and attacked with cold wet towels.. no bueno, but I'm glad he took care of me. He usually does when it really counts.

You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You

There have ben quite few changes taking place in my home over the past week. For starters, I wasn't getting laid. That's a big fucking deal. This past Saturday night, myself and some girlfriends got together at one of their homes and got completely trashed on margaritas and Jell-o shots. I road with my friend to her home and my husband picked me up, because, hello, I'm not stupid enough to drive home trashed. Mildly drunk, yes, barely able to stand, definitely not.
So my hubby comes to pick me up and we got home. First, I should mention that I have the propensity of being horny when I drink; also, I'm never too drunk to not know wtf I'm talking about. So, we get home, and I want sex. He said he was too tired. Wtf is that about? He's lying on the couch after I get undressed, and in a wobbly sort of pissed-off nakedness, I walk into the living room and demand to know why he won't fuck me. He says I'm drunk and that I need to go to bed. I then attempted to say, "I'm not too drunk to think straight," but it ended up coming out "I'm not too straight to not drunk think.. wait.." and I restated my intended statement.. slowly. So I get down eye-to-eye with him and I ask him, again, why he doesn't want sex as much as he used to and why things are different and why he doesn't touch me like he used to because he used to not be able to keep his hands off me and blah blah drunken ramblings blah blah. Finally he says that usually after work he's too tired to do anything, but when he's not too tired before sex, he's usually too tired to recipricate afterward, so he doesn't do it at all. This pissed me off further, so I gave up and went to bed. He fell asleep on the couch. I wake up the next morning, get dressed for work, and stand in the living room bitching about the exact same things I'd said the night before. Not a whole lot was said on his part besides trying to cop out by telling me to go to work. Fucker. I go to work and I ignore him for 98% of my day, then I come home and change clothes and we go to Chili's to meet somone (I'll get to that in a minute). We get home and we're watching TV when he starts rubbing on me, then proceeds to take off my pants. So we're sitting on the couch half-naked playing with each other, followed by some seriously hardcore fucking, followed by me getting some personal attention and getting off. So things have been much better in that department.

As for who we met for dinner, well, it's my husband's new boss. Sunday we met to discuss the possibility of my hubby going to work for a submetering company, which involves a lot of travel all the time but also a lot more money coming in. So he put in his two weeks at his old job, but they basically let him go the next day, so he started his new job earlier than expected. He'll be in Galveston all next week, then New Orleans the week after, then Richmond, VA the two weeks after that.. Idk what I'm going to do with myself..

On a brigher note, my boss is going to work with me on my schedule so I can still work up to 35 hours a week and go to school part-time (4.5 hours x 4 days a week). With my hubby's increase in revenue, I'll be able to take the slight paycut to go to school on student loans. Hopefully I'll be able to start soon..

That's pretty much it for the big stuff. Since my little chat with my husband, he's been ready to go 99.9% of the time, which has been awesome for sure. I'm gonna miss him so fucking much while he's gone.. God, 4 weeks. FOUR WEEKS! That's a long time to be apart from someone! We got my desktop computer up and running, so he can now take my laptop with him so we can talk online while he's gone, because our cell phone service provider doesn't do long distance without charging out the ass. This is gonna be rough, but hopefully I can get into school so I'll be preoccupied when he's gone..

Unrecipricated

You know what sucks? Lack of reciprication. My husband got home from work yesterday, and I wanted shower sex, because, in my opinion, it's way hotter than regular bed sex or even erotic all-over-the-house sex. So we get in the shower, and there's some slippery making out and some foreplay, then I'm on my back and he's fucking me, which is amazing, then he cums on my chest, which is perfectly fine with me. Then he tells me to get on top, so we rearrange and I do, but he's half-limp from cumming, which is understandable, but I can't get him fully hard again for my turn. I'm sorry, but if you tell your girl to get on top after you come, you'd damn well better be ready to go again. Needless to say, I was extremely dissappointed, and am still completely frustrated, because I still haven't gotten off. He's sleeping behind me on the couch! No fucking bueno.

Down

In less than a full week, I've lost 8.5lbs. How? Not too sure, except for the mild rise in my activity level and the addition of Hydroxycut 3x a day + my new George Foreman grill. My stomach is shrinking in more ways than one, because I had 6oz of chicken and tomato soup for lunch, and I'm freaking stuffed. Yay for skinnier me!

Problem with Hydroxycut: two pills 3 hours before trying to go to bed equals no sleep. I had to have my husband get me off so I could relax a little, but still didn't go to sleep for another 30-45 minutes afterward. But at least I got something out of the deal.

We're going to the in-laws tonight, seeing as it's the mother-in-law's birthday. I'm really tired and not really looking forward to doing anything but going to bed. Ugh.

Lean and Mean

So I started my weight loss Monday after my manager started making fun of my weight. I know he didn't really mean anything by it, but it hurt nonetheless. So after crying hysterically to my husband, I went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for 45 minutes at roughly 3mph. Then I went to the grocery on Tuesday after weighing myself and got some Hydroycut and Slimfast Optima shakes to have for breakfast. Then yesterday I went ahead and bought myself a George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Cutting Machine andI absolutely adore it. Best $20 I've spent in a good bit (seeing as my mom splurged for the Hydroxycut if I split it with her, which I did). I'm already feeling a difference, even if I'm not seeing it on the scale. Ultimately I'd like to lose the weight I wawnt, tone up, then get my boobs done. That would be a huge accomplishment for me, even though it's not really what I'm working toward right now. I'd just like to stop hating myself.

Narcissism

My hubby's out on his bike, so I've been home alone. For over 4 hours. So, naturally, I've been doing what any slightly narcissistic blonde left home alone would do: take pictures of herself for MySpace. Yes. Pitiful.

I'm so bored.. I'm actually about to get on Facebook. Yes, it's that's bad.

Hopefully my husband won't be too tired when he gets home. I need to get laid.

No Diving Zone

Okay, so I get home yesterday from running errands, and I'd had a relatively shitty day off, and I hadn't eaten all day, so I was starving. My husband's already home from work, and he asked what I wanted for dinner. I said I was having tuna and fruit (I'm counting calories again), and that he could have whatever he wanted. He then proceeded to drag me to the bedroom and say he was going to have me. He then proceeds to strip me done and go down on me, then we start fucking. It was amazing, to say the least, but after the endorphins and serotin wore off after I came, I went back to being kinda down. So I start fixing my dinner and he warms himself up some pizza, and we settle in for the Hell's Kitchen season finale, which was great. Then we went did laundry, hung out with my apartment manager/neighbor and her boyfriend for a while, then came back inside. By this time it's about, oh, I'd say 11:15p, and my husband decides he wants to go at it again. That's fine, and I'm grateful he wants me again, especially considering the dryspell we've been having lately, but he just wants to dive right in without any foreplay. Um, 'scuse me, no. My body doesn't work that way. He wanted a wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am, and my vagoo was not having it, so I stopped him because, duh, it was hurting. So he copped at attitude and we started fighting about it. Fighting! About sex! He was mad because he just wanted to get off, and I was mad because I needed a little more attention than just a quick fuck, because women are the recipients of the pounding and the friction, and we get sore. Guys seem to forget this. I ended up sleeping on the couch, because I didn't feel like dealing with his attitude. I know what you're thinking: he should've been the one to sleep on the couch because he caused the problem. Yes, I completely agree, but I know that he wasn't going to move, and I also know that I had to work today, and if I'd stayed in there, I wouldn't have gotten any sleep. However, I did forget to take my Zyrtec last night before bed, and the cat was kind of locked in the living room with me, so he slept with me. I'm allergic to cats. Yeah. Today sucked.

Hi-InFIdelity

It's funny the things you find yourself afraid to talk about to some people, but are willing to openly blab about to others. I had dinner with my best friend last night, and I don't know if it was the martinis or what, but we opened up about our own sexual secrets (well, mine not so much per these assorted ramblings) first the first time in I don't know how long.
As I have reiterated multiple times, I'm a very sexual person, and I tend to be a little more open than I probably should be, but it hasn't gotten me in too much trouble yet. I guess I just don't see what the big deal is. It's all over television and magazines and in music and books, but people are still so reserved in their sexual explorations. There is no shame in curiosity and interest, in wanting something more. I don't know a single person that's ever been happy with a hum-drum sex life. Statistics have even shown that the two main causes of divorce are related to sex and money. The money I can understand, as it's just a pain in the ass trying to manage everything that requires cash, and it causes stress and friction. But sex is meant to bring couples together and relieve the tension and anxiety they're feeling... it shouldn't be a cause for argument unless you're just not doing it.
A lot of men blame the lack of a sex life on their girlfriends/wives, whining about not getting any attention, and thereby using it as a "logical" reason to cheat. What men don't seem to reason, though, is that they're usually the reason there is no sex. Yes, men are clueless, and, yes, they're self-absorbed and forgetful, but they're not near as stupid as they'd like us to think. They know we need to be loved and pampered and taken care of, that's instinctual. Do they always act on it? No. Why? They're naturally selfish creatures. Me me me, mine mine mine, gimme gimme gimme. They're like children in every sense of the word, thus why they usually seek out a mate similar to their mothers - mommy will take care of me. Absurd? Absolutely. But correctable if you work it right; if you're willing to put in the effort.
Much like children, men need to be reminded when they're doing something wrong, and as much as I know we'd all love to yell and scream and strangle them, but all that only causes rebellion, then you're back to square one. I, myself, have the hardest time not screaming at my husband when he's not helping me, or not paying attention to my needs, or not fucking me enough. But I'm finding more and more that yelling isn't doing a damn thing but pushing him away. So what do you do? Give him a reason to pay attention to you. If he loves you and tells you he thinks you're sexy and beautiful and blah blah blah (even though we all think psh yeah okay dumbass, I'm not any of those), show him you are. Confidence (not conceit) is sexy. It doesn't matter how fat or ugly or disproportionate you think you are, he obviously doesn't agree, so show yourself off; make him want you:

• Go to a sex shop and get a couple small "enhancers": Vibrating cock rings are awesome - they keep the blood in his dick so he stays harder longer, even after he cums, but you can't have it on for more than 30 minutes because it is, in theory, cutting off the circulation. I'd recommend putting it on when he's almost close to cumming. A lot of cock rings come with vibrating "bullets" that slip in the top of the cock rings and target your clit during sex. Definitely enjoyable. Also, they make sucralose and water-based flavored lubricants. Not only do they obviously help things along, but they make it more enjoyable for you to go down on each other at any point.
• Buy lingerie and actually wear it: Don't ask me why they like it, but lingerie does it for men. It doesn't matter how many times they're seen you in your various states of undress/getting ready/sleeping/showering/whatev, lingerie turns you into a Christmas present begging to be unwrapped. He could be just sitting in front of the computer or television, doing nothing, not paying attention to anything you're doing or saying, but if you strut into the room wearing a sexy nightie with thigh-high stockings and stripper heels, he's got no choice but to drop what he's doing. After all, they only have enough blood to operate their dick or their brain, so when they see you like that, anything requiring mental attention doesn't make sense anymore.
• Surprise him: Be there waiting for him when he gets home from work. Dressed up, naked, with toys or without, surprise him by being ready for him when he walks in the door. One of my husband's ultimate fantasies is to walk into our bedroom after getting home from work to find me dressed up and fucking myself with a dildo, waiting for him. I've yet to do that yet, because the last time I tried he came in the front door, with was locked from the inside and needed me to open it for him to get in, instead of the back door, which is attached to our bedroom where I was waiting for him. Yeah.. that didn't go over as smoothly as I'd planned.
• Do it somewhere public: One of the ultimate thrills we've experienced been fucking in public: dressing rooms, movie theatres, while he's driving, while I'm driving. It's considered risky, dirty, and not allowed. Why wouldn't it be great for your sex life?
• Honesty: Men will breeze through their routines thinking they're the best lover in the world and not even realize it's not doing anything for you anymore. A lot of women are afraid to talk about what they do and don't like in the bedroom because of how he'll react. Big whoop. Sex is supposed to be a two-sided affair, otherwise the human race would've died out hundreds of years ago. If you don't like how monotonous and mundane your sex life has become, tell him so, and don't you dare accept blame for it, because he'll try and pin it on you, saying you're "in a funk" or "hormonal", because God forbid they don't know what they're doing in the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with telling your partner you're bored, because boredom allows the mind to wander. Tired of the same positions? Take control of the situation. Not getting enough attention? Tell him to stop being a fucking pissy little bitch and get over it. Guys aren't supposed to be as finicky as we are, thus why they're guys. Let him know that if he wants to be the man in the bedroom, he needs to stop acting like he's the one with a pussy. Plain and simple, black and white. Guys tend to live in grey areas, and if you don't desaturate the situation, things will never change.