Hi-InFIdelity

It's funny the things you find yourself afraid to talk about to some people, but are willing to openly blab about to others. I had dinner with my best friend last night, and I don't know if it was the martinis or what, but we opened up about our own sexual secrets (well, mine not so much per these assorted ramblings) first the first time in I don't know how long.
As I have reiterated multiple times, I'm a very sexual person, and I tend to be a little more open than I probably should be, but it hasn't gotten me in too much trouble yet. I guess I just don't see what the big deal is. It's all over television and magazines and in music and books, but people are still so reserved in their sexual explorations. There is no shame in curiosity and interest, in wanting something more. I don't know a single person that's ever been happy with a hum-drum sex life. Statistics have even shown that the two main causes of divorce are related to sex and money. The money I can understand, as it's just a pain in the ass trying to manage everything that requires cash, and it causes stress and friction. But sex is meant to bring couples together and relieve the tension and anxiety they're feeling... it shouldn't be a cause for argument unless you're just not doing it.
A lot of men blame the lack of a sex life on their girlfriends/wives, whining about not getting any attention, and thereby using it as a "logical" reason to cheat. What men don't seem to reason, though, is that they're usually the reason there is no sex. Yes, men are clueless, and, yes, they're self-absorbed and forgetful, but they're not near as stupid as they'd like us to think. They know we need to be loved and pampered and taken care of, that's instinctual. Do they always act on it? No. Why? They're naturally selfish creatures. Me me me, mine mine mine, gimme gimme gimme. They're like children in every sense of the word, thus why they usually seek out a mate similar to their mothers - mommy will take care of me. Absurd? Absolutely. But correctable if you work it right; if you're willing to put in the effort.
Much like children, men need to be reminded when they're doing something wrong, and as much as I know we'd all love to yell and scream and strangle them, but all that only causes rebellion, then you're back to square one. I, myself, have the hardest time not screaming at my husband when he's not helping me, or not paying attention to my needs, or not fucking me enough. But I'm finding more and more that yelling isn't doing a damn thing but pushing him away. So what do you do? Give him a reason to pay attention to you. If he loves you and tells you he thinks you're sexy and beautiful and blah blah blah (even though we all think psh yeah okay dumbass, I'm not any of those), show him you are. Confidence (not conceit) is sexy. It doesn't matter how fat or ugly or disproportionate you think you are, he obviously doesn't agree, so show yourself off; make him want you:

• Go to a sex shop and get a couple small "enhancers": Vibrating cock rings are awesome - they keep the blood in his dick so he stays harder longer, even after he cums, but you can't have it on for more than 30 minutes because it is, in theory, cutting off the circulation. I'd recommend putting it on when he's almost close to cumming. A lot of cock rings come with vibrating "bullets" that slip in the top of the cock rings and target your clit during sex. Definitely enjoyable. Also, they make sucralose and water-based flavored lubricants. Not only do they obviously help things along, but they make it more enjoyable for you to go down on each other at any point.
• Buy lingerie and actually wear it: Don't ask me why they like it, but lingerie does it for men. It doesn't matter how many times they're seen you in your various states of undress/getting ready/sleeping/showering/whatev, lingerie turns you into a Christmas present begging to be unwrapped. He could be just sitting in front of the computer or television, doing nothing, not paying attention to anything you're doing or saying, but if you strut into the room wearing a sexy nightie with thigh-high stockings and stripper heels, he's got no choice but to drop what he's doing. After all, they only have enough blood to operate their dick or their brain, so when they see you like that, anything requiring mental attention doesn't make sense anymore.
• Surprise him: Be there waiting for him when he gets home from work. Dressed up, naked, with toys or without, surprise him by being ready for him when he walks in the door. One of my husband's ultimate fantasies is to walk into our bedroom after getting home from work to find me dressed up and fucking myself with a dildo, waiting for him. I've yet to do that yet, because the last time I tried he came in the front door, with was locked from the inside and needed me to open it for him to get in, instead of the back door, which is attached to our bedroom where I was waiting for him. Yeah.. that didn't go over as smoothly as I'd planned.
• Do it somewhere public: One of the ultimate thrills we've experienced been fucking in public: dressing rooms, movie theatres, while he's driving, while I'm driving. It's considered risky, dirty, and not allowed. Why wouldn't it be great for your sex life?
• Honesty: Men will breeze through their routines thinking they're the best lover in the world and not even realize it's not doing anything for you anymore. A lot of women are afraid to talk about what they do and don't like in the bedroom because of how he'll react. Big whoop. Sex is supposed to be a two-sided affair, otherwise the human race would've died out hundreds of years ago. If you don't like how monotonous and mundane your sex life has become, tell him so, and don't you dare accept blame for it, because he'll try and pin it on you, saying you're "in a funk" or "hormonal", because God forbid they don't know what they're doing in the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with telling your partner you're bored, because boredom allows the mind to wander. Tired of the same positions? Take control of the situation. Not getting enough attention? Tell him to stop being a fucking pissy little bitch and get over it. Guys aren't supposed to be as finicky as we are, thus why they're guys. Let him know that if he wants to be the man in the bedroom, he needs to stop acting like he's the one with a pussy. Plain and simple, black and white. Guys tend to live in grey areas, and if you don't desaturate the situation, things will never change.